Let’s dive right in. I was raised Catholic. I was raised in a loving family. I am extremely blessed in a multitude of ways.
I went to Mass because that is what our family did. I learned the basics of the Faith as I went through Catholic schools. I was always happy that I was Catholic. I never had the desire to leave the Catholic Church. With that being said, I was never really invested in the Catholic Church as I am today. For most of my life, I accepted what the Church taught and that was enough for me. I didn’t really ask questions or dive deeper into my faith.
Fast forward to junior year of high school. I have played soccer as long as I can remember. I come from a soccer family. We eat, sleep, breathe soccer. My brother played Division I soccer in college. I always gave soccer my everything. I worked hard to be the best soccer player I could. I made varsity as a freshman. I was just named captain as a junior. Then something changed. I partially broke both of my shins. What are the odds right? Both legs?!?! Yup, both legs.
I have really flat feet and get shin splints very easily. Since I was on varsity and one of the captains of the team, I felt it was necessary to show my dedication to the rest of the team and to my coach by playing through the pain. It may not have been the smartest decision. The pain got so bad that I began to take Motrin just to be able to practice. Do not do what I did. Taking medicine in order to be able to play is a bad idea. Eventually, the pain was just too much to bear and I could not even run without terrible pain. At this point, I decided to go to the doctor.
I remember my mom calling me at school when the results came back and she told me that I had stress fractures in both of my shins. What this means is that I had cracks in my bones but they were not completely split. If I continued to play, I could have completely broken the bone all the way through. Naturally, I decided that I would not continue to play and seek treatment to get healthy again so I could get back on the field.
That is exactly what I did. I was in two boots for months. It was hard to go through high school with two boots on. It is not exactly the most fashionable thing to have on your feet. After I got out of the boots, I began physical therapy. I would get up for PT which started at 6:30 AM. I would then rush to school as soon as PT was over with bags of ice on my legs as I drove there. I would quickly take off the ice and then rush inside to make sure I wasn’t late to school. This continued for a while. I made good progress. I felt better. It was time to get back out there.
If only I knew what God had in store for me.
I am not sure if I just felt better and my injuries did not heal completely or if the same thing happened again but I ended up with double stress fractures during senior year as well. As a freshman, I dreamed of senior night. I dreamed of being captain of the soccer team. I dreamed of being known as one of the best soccer players on the team. Those dreams were gone. I couldn’t play my senior year. It was so hard to watch my teammates play without me. I desperately wanted to be on the field with them. I wanted to be a part of the team.
I would say more often than not the plans God has for your life are different than the plans you have for your own life. And His plans are better than your plans in the end.
Because I did not have the commitment of soccer practice and playing in games, I had a lot more free time. I went to Catholic school so campus ministry was something a lot of my friends and I were interested in. Now that I didn’t have the commitment of soccer, I thought why not? So I decided to join the campus ministry. I applied to be a retreat leader and I got the position.
Junior and senior year were huge periods of growth for me. My soccer dreams were crushed. But the Lord provided new opportunities for me to seek Him more deeply. Something seemingly terrible turned into something beautiful. I look back on those years in high school with gratitude. Of course, not being able to play soccer was tough. However, I soon realized that I truly loved being a part of campus ministry and growing in my faith.
My point is this: God meets us at our lowest points. He does not abandon us. He is not with us just in the good moments. He is with us when we feel broken. He is with us when we feel hopeless. Sometimes our “worst” moments are the best times to encounter God in our lives. The important thing is to be aware. You must be aware and constantly looking for how God is working in your life. He is not just in the miracles. He is not just in the grand moments of life. He is with you always.
“Then the Lord said: Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord; the Lord will pass by. There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the Lord—but the Lord was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake—but the Lord was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire—but the Lord was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound.” – 1 Kings 19:11-12 NABRE
God’s movement in our lives is not always in the form of “strong and violent wind[s]” and earthquakes. God is found in the depths of our hearts. God is there in the silence. God’s presence is like the “silent sound”; it is “mysterious and ultimately ungraspable” (From footnote for verse 12 in the Bible).
Prayer
Dear God, I know that you love me because You died on the Cross for me. I know that You want nothing for me but the best in the light of eternity. So I trust in Your infinite wisdom and goodness and ask You to grant my request if it is according to Your holy will. I accept whatever You decide. I leave everything up to Your divine goodness and loving care. You are my God.
Amen
Catholicism Rekindled 