For the first time in months, I can say, without hesitation, that I am busy.
Busy.
The word has such a nagging tone to it. It calls to mind the running of errands, the doing of taxes, and the sweeping of floors.
But as I reflect upon all the busyness of the past few weeks, I am reminded that I ought to be grateful for days full with tasks and responsibilities.
While I appreciated the downtime that accompanied quarantine, I understood from the beginning that I was not made for such continual leisure. It was an almost comical realization – that the very thing we seek while we work (vacation) can only satisfy us for so long. We seem to require responsibility, structure, and work.
And though I’m thankful that I have been able to work, while many have not, I realize it is not without its drawbacks. Having less free time has meant this page suffers, as does the time I have for myself. Most obviously lacking has been my interior life.
How greedy of me to be with God in prayer when I have a surplus of time, but fail to carve out time in the midst of busyness. In the mornings, I tell myself I am too tired to speak with God. In the evenings, too busy. When I lay my head to rest, I convince myself I’m far too preoccupied with trying to sleep.
Of course, there exists a path, carved out by generations of the faithful before me, that provides that I may remain in the business of life and maintain a strong relationship with God. Though I have not the interior strength to carry this out at the moment, I can direct my actions slowly towards this goal.
Take a breath. Notice the moment. Enjoy something. Give thanks. Ask for help.
These little actions, helpless as they seem, are the building blocks for a relationship with God. My shortcomings are not simply failing to find the time for God, but in failing to recognize that every opportunity is a chance to be with God.
Short as this blog has been, it has allowed for a few precious moments to be taken and examined. Writing, thinking, praying – these are activities that remove us from linear time and take us somewhere more ethereal, more eternal. As we continue to search for these moments, moments when we share in the Divine Presence, my prayer is that you and I may find peace.
Catholicism Rekindled 