“‘You are right, Frodo,’ said Gandalf: ‘to go back is to admit defeat, and face worse defeat to come.”
(Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring)
Whenever we set out to accomplish something, the temptation to mediocrity is quick to knock upon our doors and push us in the direction away from our necessary destination.
St. Augustine likens our lives to a weight, and by his reckoning, our weight carries us on our journey towards God, until we ultimately rest in the Divine love. To Augustine, the objective of our existence is to arrive at a relationship with our Creator.
Though leaving the comfort of our current being is always the most difficult movement, the fortitude required to maintain our trajectory is another virtue we must ask for. Turning back toward where we came seems to present itself as the logical course of action, but we must fix our sights upon our destination. What’s more, is that returning to our origin damages us more than whatever danger we imagine laying on the road ahead of us.
What happens when we deny the destination that God has carved out for us and linger in mediocrity? Jonah is swallowed up by the fish, the rich young man leaves Christ empty-handed, and Peter is left to despair at having denied knowing his Lord. When we refuse the path we have embarked upon, we cannot hope but to welcome suffering.
Why is this our lot? For one, we ought to strive to complete that which we have set out upon. We ought to approach the world with a gratitude mindset, and when we cast aside our natural abilities and competencies, we are effectively saying, “these gifts aren’t valuable to me.” Rejecting our propensity to glory is harmful also because it is a rejection of a prior commitment we ourselves made. Resolving towards a goal and failing to achieve it, not because of our own inadequacy or powerlessness, but because we ourselves failed to even try, is forsaking both our Creator and our selves.
I think this is what Gandalf means when he says, “and face worse defeat to come.” Indeed, in some base sense, Gandalf is referring to the consequences of inaction. When we fail to act, that which we are striving against will prevail against us. But in a deeper sense, when we turn our backs on our calling, we have to live with having made such a decision. Abandoning our future success in order to receive temporary comfort is a recipe for disappointment in the self. The mind is crafted to reward valiant effort, but when we fail to even try, we will naturally grow frustrated with our inaction. Encountering a self that is wounded not because of external circumstance, but because it never even attempted to know those circumstances, is to know the despair of Jonah and Peter.
And so as Gandalf replies to Frodo, we too must be vigilant in keeping our own journeys. Knowing that refusing the opportunities we have been given will lead us to mediocrity, we pray that God may counsel us:
God, armor of courage,
Inspire us today to aim for a proper relationship with You,
Instruct us with your wisdom. Teach us which journeys are fruitful and need committing to, and which are folly and need forgetting.
Embed within us a zeal to journey towards you, in fellowship with others.
Amen.
Catholicism Rekindled 